


how long is a mile?

by belindarimbi13



Category: Original Work
Genre: Memoirs, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 09:27:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22967734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belindarimbi13/pseuds/belindarimbi13
Summary: I want you to remember me in the best version of I am, you ever know.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	how long is a mile?

**Author's Note:**

> I want you to remember me in the best version of I am, you ever know.

When I was a kid, I was told, "you're gonna grow up amazing", and I was stupid enough to believe it, didn't know I would end up with stained blood on my shirt, a rusty cutter, and the darkness of my room. I let down everyone, because I couldn't stand not giving them the best of the best.

If I was an experiment, I was a mega failure. Being displayed to show how plans can be so painfully ruined, how dreams can be so extremely broken, how future can be terrifically destroyed.

I'll send everyone an invitation to my own funeral myself, because I can't bear to think someone forgets how brilliant I once was. That even if I can never be beautiful, I could be smart. I embroidered flowers and kittens and stars on the envelope, and people would think, "oh it's wedding!" but I'm marrying my own coffin and my grave.

They would play Canon in D, because I have no idea what the song on the funeral should be named. I would stand under the umbrella. In blue suit, since it's my favorite color, and I would cry with everyone, because look, I dream to kill myself and I did it wonderfully! I'll cry because I'm proud and I'll cry because nobody seems to understand how important for me to end my life.

The rain is pouring down, the lightning storms. I'd like to think the sky is angry to me, God is, but maybe it's just Thor having a bad day. Adding a dead me into his list just worsened it.

So I ask, how long is a mile? I live in a place where metres and kilometres are so much more familiar, so I don't know. Just like, I'm afraid there's so much more secrets I bring to my grave, the untold stories and unique perspectives from someone who suffers sadness and poetic earthquake inside her.

I still didn't know how long is a mile.

I may never know.

Tell me when you visit me on the night before my birthday, okay? Tell me everything I may miss.

—b, 01/03/2020


End file.
